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1995-09-20
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698b
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TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR US NOT WINNING AN EMMY
10. L.A.P.D. crime lab mixed up the ballots
9. CBS bribe check bounced
8. We actually won, but the band failed the drug test
7. Judges didn't want to hear another one of my speeches about the plight of
Tibet
6. Did away with our old category: shows that suck big-time
5. Only been giving 109%
4. Academy disapproves of my marriage to Anna Nicole Smith
3. In case of a tie, deciding vote cast by this woman (VT woman eating peach)
2. Judges sickened by astonishing number of times my name appears in
Packwood diaries
1. They've seen the show
Letterman, Monday, September 11, 1995
Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995